Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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