currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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