i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
