Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
