i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
