1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
