So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
