she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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