'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize