Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
