You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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