I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
