She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
