You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
