you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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