He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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