I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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