i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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