I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
