i wish peter jackson would direct porn
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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