So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize