Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
