we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was born a porn star she said
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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