do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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