dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize