how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
