Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize