At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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