Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
