I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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