How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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