So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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