i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Of course I have a pirate flag
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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