Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
