How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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