I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
