There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
