we're blogging at a bar
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
