i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want a musical about memes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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