i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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