I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
