I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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