She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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