And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
