Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
His nipple licking is glorious
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