With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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