Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
