kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
