would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
