I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
