ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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