They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
