Sponge bath it is.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
