she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
