I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
