ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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