im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
