People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
