She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I see more hoeing in ur future
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